hey son, you wanna try the big top?

One of the major reasons for Bruce Springsteen holding Christmas shows in Asbury Park was that it brought a lot of traffic to the area (okay at least 1000 people more than usual, that is a lot quite honestly) and the winter is a tough time for a beach town and back then, any time was tough for Asbury. One of the main beneficiaries in 2003 was the Asbury Park High School marching band, who badly needed new instruments.

At the end of the show, as things are coming to a close, Bruce stepped to the mic: "All right. Give it to me, fellas."

The band begins the intro to "Santa Claus is Coming To Town." The sleigh bells ring. The crowd cheers softly.

He steps to the mic, and squinting at the teleprompter, begins:

"Here we go. We wannta thank everybody for coming to these shows down in Asbury Park! We remind you that the city is open for business over the holidays, come down, do some of your Christmas shopping, check out—"

And he begins to read a list of local businesses, one by one, and offer side commentary as he does. I know what you're thinking, this is not funny or interesting. But I assure you that your thoughts on the subject are incorrect, because it is actually hilarious, as well as historically accurate. With his delivery of the list, Bruce takes on the role of hype man, of carnival barker, of a Boardwalk proprietor of a game of chance.

Originally I was going to try to go find all of these businesses and see if they were still there but the answer is mostly NO and gentrification and who does it benefit and I'm not doing that this week. Also, I am not fact-checking that I got the names exactly right or that they are spelled correctly.

Without further adieu:

its cued to the start of this, i promise‎‎

"The Adriatic Restaurant!

Hamills and Suzies

Antic Hay Books, they got a lot of cool old books up there!

The Antique Emporium, for your *antiquities*!

The Artesian Well

Asbury Jewelry

something something

Century Pawnbroker! Bring it down there, just in time for Christmas! Southside's going down.

Ciao Bella Boutique

Cookman's something 27

Cornucopia General Store

Crossroads! Go on in there and have a draft, tell 'em the BOSS sent ya!

DDK

Helado Negro

Footsteps in Paradise

Elvez two zero

Georgie's Hair City Beauty Supply, where I get all the needs for my coiffure

something and West Store of Asbury Park

Harry's Roadhouse

Insane-o

The Jewish Family & Children's Services

Just Killin' Time

Lance & Debbie's 'cross the street, go on in and have a drink!

Moonstruck Restaurant Fine Foods

Mr. Fashion Incorporated! If Mr. Fashion don't sell it, Southside don't wear it!

Ocean Park Gallery

Robert Legere Home

Sonny's Southern Cuisine, go on in and get some *fried chicken*!

Southside Florist! [muttley laugh] That's right. Southside has had a career change of heart, in the middle of his career he's now doing floral arrangements.

Southside: ha ha ha

I had a little problem with Patti last week, he did me up somethin' real nice, everything was OKAY! Thank you, Southside, beautifully done!

The Stone Pony

Don't throw those fuckers back onstage or I'll wring your neck personally

[this was because the people onstage were throwing out candy canes to the audience and they HURT so people were throwing them back]

Studebaker's Antiques

Sully's Studios

TJ's Pizza

Unique Images of New Jersey

Vinnie's Liquors! Go on in there and get liquored up!

When Pigs Fly

and... Wish You Were Here!

THINGS I HAVE WRITTEN RECENTLY ELSEWHERE:

If I forget to update this, you can always look here.

• I updated the U2 list on the occasion of Bono's new book
• I got to talk to Brooke Smith, an actor you might know from Grey's Anatomy, about her days in the NYC Hardcore scene and the photo book she's publishing